The Five Love Languages

What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express their feelings and bring joy back into marriage: The Five Love Languages, Dr. Gary Chapman’s New York Times bestseller!Words of Affirmation—Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

I read this book and it was very enlightening. It is helping me to relate better with hunny bunny and my girls. If you get a chance I would recommend reading it and finding out what type of love language you and your hunny bunny speak...and then "SPEAK IT!!!".

Overlook It

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference"
Winston Churchill

Sheila and I just celebrated our thirteenth wedding anniversary. Somebody asked her, what was our secret? She answered, "On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of Tim's faults which, for the sake of out marriage, I would always overlook. I figured I could live with at least ten.
When she was asked which faults she had listed, Sheila replied, "I never did get around to listing them. Instead, every time he does something that makes me mad, I simply say to myself, "Lucky for him, it's one of the top ten!"

Tim Hudson
Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul


This story made me laugh when i read it. I remember struggling with my hunny bunny's "faults". I could recite them by name and in most cases give excellent examples for each one! There was such freedom when I let the "faults list" go and learned I was not going to change anything on this list. I was powerless...WOW!! what a concept! I needed to accept him and everything that came with him! The horror!! teeehehehehe...but ohhhh the freedom that came with that acceptance...freedom to love him, to be stress less, to enjoy him!!! Yep...I (any hunny
bunny) are much happier now that the list is gone.

Couple's Night* was suppose to occur tonight. The theme is baseball and we had it all planned out. Well...it snowed! Yes, this is the 2nd time we had to cancel and the 2nd time it was because of the weather (snow both times!). Hmmmmmmm...I am starting to think God is trying to say something...teeeheheheheeee. It does make this baseball theme kind of funny...Could it be "3 strikes and we are out!!". *grin* We are going to try it one more time and go from there....

*Couple's Night is something we are trying at our local church. It is 2 hours of fun with your spouse. My hunny bunny and I felt it would be a good idea to have couple's get together and have a "date" night. The first one we had was a blessing and we felt it was something the Lord wanted us to continue so we are hoping to have the 2nd one this month (weather permitting!).

Song of Solomon 6 King James Bible

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1 Whither is thy beloved gone, O thou fairest among women? whither is thy beloved turned aside? that we may seek him with thee.

2 My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies.

3 I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.

4 Thou art beautiful, O my love, as Tirzah, comely as Jerusalem, terrible as an army with banners.

5 Turn away thine eyes from me, for they have overcome me: thy hair is as a flock of goats that appear from Gilead.

6 Thy teeth are as a flock of sheep which go up from the washing, whereof every one beareth twins, and there is not one barren among them.

7 As a piece of a pomegranate are thy temples within thy locks.

8 There are threescore queens, and fourscore concubines, and virgins without number.

9 My dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother, she is the choice one of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; yea, the queens and the concubines, and they praised her.

10 Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners?

11 I went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley, and to see whether the vine flourished and the pomegranates budded.

12 Or ever I was aware, my soul made me like the chariots of Amminadib.

13 Return, return, O Shulamite; return, return, that we may look upon thee. What will ye see in the Shulamite? As it were the company of two armies.

I remember driving to work one morning (4:30 am) and coming across the huge church on Iliff. The "neon" sign was on and it read "Divorce group" along with the time and day of the week. It was an open invitation. I passed it every morning and every after noon (around 2:30pm). For week I passed it and thought nothing of it. I remember the morning it changed, I was listening to KLOVE and I saw the glow of the neon sign coming closer. When I came upon the words they were the same as they had been the day before and the day before that. The words had not changed, however, I looked at sign a little different. A question came to me. Why do they have a group for divorced couples? Why not a group for married couples? A group that MET married couples where they were at BEFORE divorce came? A group that CELEBRATED MARRIAGE? On that particular morning something happened in me and it was like that neon light...it was bright and would not turn on...even at four in the morning when the darkness was all around. I remember asking those questions over and over and over. WHY? I spoke with my LORD, my hunny bunny and daughter. I asked them WHY? Well....I received a few different answers (ALL of them made my heart sad). I listened and in the case of my LORD I began speaking to him about the WHY. And He had answers....answers that I did not like (isn't that just like Him!!! *grin*). Answers I would question, pray about, reject and question some more (and yes, I am still questioning). Answers that would set me on a journey, a journey to answer why I asked why. Answers that would draw me closer to HIM and what He would have in my life, in my marriage, in my family life and church life.
I am currently on a path that He has set before me. I am not sure WHY? I am not sure WHERE it will lead and I am not sure WHAT will take place on this path. The only thing I know is HE has opened a new road and I am TRUSTING and moving forward. I feel MARRIAGES (including mine) will be a HUGE part of this journey.
And to think...this new path, this new journey all started with a NEON SIGN!! (don't you just love HIS ways??!!)

A Date!!!!
Tonight hunny bunny and I went out on a date!!! Wow!!! And on a week night!! Double Wow!!! There was a huge concert coming up (thanks to KLOVE for informing their listeners about it). Rock and Worship Roadshow was going to have several artist and it was going to be cheap!!! Hey, we watch our money too and $10.00 a ticket is a GREAT price for 4 bands (and they were AWESOME bands to boot!!!). OK...i digress....
ANYWAY!!! We decided to go and it was so much fun!! I loved the bands and as my hunny bunny said while we driving home..."It was like being at church!". It was. The Spirit was incredible and soooo real!!! We were blessed individually and...as a couple. It was a blessing to spend time together. Time with just eachother. Time on us. It felt a little foreign at first but dating is like riding a bike...you never really forget how to do it!! *grin* My hunny bunny LOVES music and he LOVES bands and he LOVES concerts so he LOVED the Rock and Worship Roadshow. And you know what? I LOVED watching him LOVE everything about the night! It was such a joy to see him enjoying himself (let's face it life gets to going sometimes and it is hard to "stop and enjoy the bands!!"). It was great seeing him standing up and singing and dancing and having a blast!!! As I was sitting there I became sad...when was the last time I was able to really enjoy him? Enjoy the man I loved and was mine? When was the last time it was all about him in my mind?
So many times I get caught up in life. Work, to do list, bills, cleaning, puppies, a daughter hundreds of miles away, my spiritual life, Boo, what to cook for dinner, what projects are needing to be completed before I leave work? There are always things to be done, places to go, people to see and I get to caught up in that...and when I think I am done and able to relax Monday comes...and it starts all over!!! The sad thing is I often find two areas that seem to always get pushed to the bottom of that list...can you guess one of them? Yep...my hunny bunny. I mean, he is not going anywhere. He understands how busy I am, how stressed I am, how much I juggle. Right? He understands my life better than anyone else. He loves me and because he loves me he will be ok with being on the bottom of the list (after all he knows I love him). He does not need that much time. He has his own set of things he needs to focus on and I am ok on the bottom. Right?
Right? Are we both right in getting on with the "important" things in life? What about us? What about "US" time? Don't we need that? It is something I have asked before and right when I get to answering it the dryer would buzz, the water would boil over, one of the girls would jump in the car from dance, soccer practice, Girl Scouts and I would get on that crazy "life" road and the question would remain unanswered.
Unanswered until tonight when I saw my hunny bunny dancing and singing. I realized I miss him and I miss enjoying things like concerts with him. I miss being "US"...just us...no girls (even though I love them sooooo much), no stress, no finance talk, no work talk...just us!! Me and hunny bunny!!! It was then I decided we need to make time for us, time to be together...time to "DATE"!!!! teeehehehehe... My hunny bunny and I are going to start dating again and I feel like a 19 year old again! A couple who has been married for 22 years...dating!!! I LOVE IT!!! And I LOVE God for showing me all this while at the concert. He is AWESOME!!!!
How about you? When was the last time you and your hunny bunny were out alone...on a date? When was the last time you spent time with just each other?If you have to think and ponder (like we did) then it's time. Find a day in the next few weeks (if you do not have time...MAKE TIME) and get together. Just the two of you. Do something you haven't done in a while or something you did last week...it does not matter as long as it is only the two of you. Forget everyone else, everything else and enjoy eachother. Enjoy being together. Take the time and make the time to DATE. You will not be sorry you did. *smile*